A New Bob Hope

A Long Time Ago,
In a Galaxy Far Far Away..

Star Wars Episode One has to be in my modest yet rather knowledgeable opinion on this subject matter a classic addition to an extremely well known science fiction masterpiece or set of extremely well put together little dudes or movies of my early childhood to modern day child like continued adoration.

220px-star_wars_phantom_menace_poster

The Cast mostly in order of appearance of the late 1970’s: Star Wars (Episode IV): A New Hope:

C3PO (the very well spoken English speaking protocol droid whom it’s against it’s programming to impersonate a deity or God like genius). R2D2 (the real star of the show). Carrie Fisher as the indomitable and most beautiful tough woman’s liber heroin Princess Lea. Luke Skywalker, supposedly star of show. A swashbuckling, boyish lover boy with magical royal prince-like-charms. Loved by all, the perfect warrior prince and even rather insestually, by his sister (the congruent Oedipus theme throughout all the early Star wars movies). The kiss before completing the most famous scene from Star Wars: A New Hope – the swashbuckling swing scene with his beloved in his arms over a high predispose ravine to safety .., that kiss: ‘for luck’ has now been removed in the digital edited versions!!
So, Luke whom is obviously sexually aroused his twin sister, has to make do with wanking off with his Light-saber. Ha, ha ha!

Next we have and I quote his Dark Lordship:
“Your thoughts Betray you young Skywalker! You have a ‘SSisster??’ Maybe she will turn to the Darkside?”
Bringing us neatly to the multi acted (as 5 actors originally. But 6 or, 7 if you count the later episodes) contributed to His Darkness: Darth Vader. Luke’s father, Anikien Skywalker of Phantom Menace fame.
Darth Vader makes his dramatic entrance in ‘A New Hope’ before our hero and we are introduced to his menace, Lord Vader in the opening scenes on board the diplomatic vessel heading for Alderan. A peaceful planet soon to be mercilessly destroyed by the fully operational DEATH STAR (“..that’s not a moon.., that’s a SPACE-STATION!!”).
Two actors were used for Vader’s body: masked (The UK’s Kids TV star ‘The Green Cross Code Man’ or: Jolly-Green-Giant. And this English dude was a bloody giant! Nearly 7 foot tall! A (UK Kid’s TV star who my younger ‘SSsiter’ met at our local Talke – Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent North Staffordshire UK CO-OP supermarket in the late 70’s). One actor played Vader unmasked: the main actor for Lord Vader. Peak previews were given of Vader unmasked in the first two movies before finally getting to see him in all his darkness in episode VI: The Return of the Jedi (The best movie of all I reckon). One other actor/ vocalist was used for his computer sounding voice. And, yet another actor/ vocalist was used (5 in total for Darth alone in the original trilogy) on his raspy 150 Woodbine cigarettes-a-day breathing!!!

Then, we have Mr. Cool Dude: Han Solo (Harrison Ford’s first ever movie – althou’ not cast originally, was on set at Pinewood Studios in West London, England. Where the 1st movie was mostly filmed with an English film crew. Harrison Ford was on set as a set design Chippy/ Carpenter there. He got the part by de-fault divine-intervention-luck when the director spotted him mucking about back-stage as a real life smuggling-gangster bad-good-guy do-or-die type dude. Which was the beginnings of an extremely successful film star career lasting nearly fifty years present day. And, Chewbacca his side-kick / co-pilot (the walking fuzz ball carpet whom all depends if one closely observes the crucial turning points of the original trilogy).

Then, old Ben ( no! surely?! not old Ben?!) First performed by English Shakespearean legend Alec Guinness whom was perplexed by its strangely significant most memorable performance as he thought his endorsement and acclaim positively last performance a poultry effort as compared to his long list of master class masterpieces under David Leans directing in Dickensian and Shakespearean classics films as laughable in comparison to Lucas and Star Wars.

Ewan McGregor in this, The Phantom Menace movie fails miserably to emulate the master as Obi-1-the-Fogi (as my younger brothers Christened the old man).

For McGregor is Scottish and cannot pronounce English correctly or as well as a professionally trained Shakespearean English orator fight as a samurai based Jedi swordsman or act convincingly in a movie with the badly computer animation but fabulously funny Jah Jah Binks (also flawed and later quietly written out of all other episodes to follow).
The only other flaw, yet crucial and rather pathetic in an otherwise amazingly brilliant return of Lucas’s late 70’s mid 80’s cinematic delights…
Is, if Liam Nesiens brilliant performance as the totally believable immersive Quigon was such a Jedi master of the all seeing Magical power The Force, how then had he not presumed enough or too little and not recognized the hand maiden (played by the now world famous actress of much talent and beauty) a decoy and not Queen Amadela of the Nabu herself?!
A brilliant movie as the child actor and Star of Star Wars episode one The Phantom Menace is truly a fantastic choice as the boy whom it was written is the chosen one whom will bring balance to The Force.

DPK-UK

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