Talken News

Donner meat-mad-man
Talke is a village in Staffordshire, England, four miles north-west of Newcastle-under-Lyme.
Talke is a village in Staffordshire, England, four miles north-west of Newcastle-under-Lyme.

The village of Talke is in Staffordshire, England, four miles north-west of Newcastle-under-Lyme. There once was a fruit and veg. shop and Post Office called ‘Vince’s.’  This store or typically northerners 1970s con-vience shop was in Unity Way, Talke. Which was, and still is in a rather shabby council estate built in the 1970’s. Full of unemployed young men abusing and selling drugs, over-weight single mothers on state benefits and the location of Vince’s rather disgusting cockroach-rat-infested shop full of out-of-date shite food that the locals snapped up at Vince’s super-lowest-low-prices!‘Get-it-while-u-can!’ he would shout out around the streets of Talke from his jam packed shitty little van full of crap food and stuffed full of other bollox you didn’t really want! But, he some how managed get you buy it off him! The Cunt! Vince’s other favourite saying and key to his business success of his shop and life-long motto of his v. v. surprising and rather amazingly long existence as a very dodgy food retailer and a credit to his rather unusual business acumen was:
“Where There’s Mold? There’s GOLD!”

It was open during the 1980’s and early 1990’s. After which it closed. Thank F.! Probably after a Health & Safety law violation and inevitable inspection by a local government Environmental Health Officer. Who most probably, and almost certainly, condemned the place and had Vince’s fruit & veg. shop shut down with immediate effect! And then had Vince banged up for 50 years for breaking every F.in’ Consumer Health act and local and national government’s directives and laws on food hygiene and consumer protection since the F.in’ early 1820’s!Vince’s old shop is now ‘Manhattan Pizza.’ A rather horrible, Pakistani fast-food outlet selling over priced 32″ inch Pizzas, horrible greasy, v. soggy, & v. thin French fries and disgusting Donner Kebabs to all  the TV coach potatoes in the local area and in the vicinity of Unity Way council estate.Donner Kebabs consist of one small pita bread stuffed full with the most fowl mix of dog-food like Donner ‘meat’ (If u can call that shite meat!) cabbage, so called ‘mixed salads’ and other bollox.

All christened with the most fowl super red-hot chilli sauce. That only absolute idiots or, pissed out of their minds nut-bags would dare ever attempt to put in their mouths. Or, even contemplate eating. As it burns the F. out of your throat and sets fire to your belly, as well as the horrid greasy Donner meat food poisoning you are most certainly gonna experience soon after the consumption of a Donner Kebab dirt-box on a post-piss-up-take-away-filthy-feed. As it is left spit roasting for days. Vertically. Like some deranged elephant’s foot or lower leg. Going round and around for days.
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Talkes Phoenix

Kidsgrove Workingmen's club - circa late 1980s

Bill Cawley: “Peter Kay is not far out when portrays the strange acts at the Phoenix. I recall vividly the Pakistani stand up comedian who told racist jokes against himself, the asthmatic country and western act from Cleverley who stopped for breath half way through his act.” I’ll be with you in a moment “, or the overloud ear-ringing rock bands. Sometimes there were special events like a boxing tournament at the Suburban where one competitor eschewing the basic defensive stance advanced with arms flaying like a windmill to be quickly demolished by punishing jabs that opened his nose up in a crimson torrent. For the turns themselves there was recognition that there efforts were taken with proper regard. As local act Gerry Stephens writing of the time reportedSaturday was the highlight of the week and people would make an effort to look their best. The Committee officers ran them with a grip of iron and membership were as tightly controlled as any freemasons. Instant silence followed the command ” Give order please” and quiet was demanded- and got- when Bingo started. Bingo was a ritual with its language and actions especially when certain numbers were called out ” Ted’s den- Number Ten, Two fat ladies 88, Leg’s eleven” followed by wolf whistles and the clinking of glasses as pens were banging against them. Sometimes a frustrated gamester would call out to the elderly lady caller ” Shake them up, Elsie” if his numbers were not coming up.Then there were the turns.“You’d arrive outside the Club, grab your gear, and go in. The room would be completely empty. Then people start coming in; the room is packed, and it’s your job to entertain them for the night. You’ve only got your guitar, your voice and your patter, to get them going, gets them laughing.It was quite a thing to be an artist in the 70s, there was a lot of respect shown; the audience wasn’t allowed to come in or go out during a bracket”.But the knell- as it was for the working class- was already tolling for the clubs.”

Bill Cawley: “I was born in Stoke in 1955 and lived and worked in the City. I was a City Councillor from 82-7 and a County Councillor from 97-05. I’m a member of the Green party My heroes are Thomas Paine, HL Mencken, Tom Joad and Ernest Everard..,”

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Every Day Is Like Sunday – Morrissey

James Dean


Written about and whilst Mozzer was stranded in/ at/ on Morecombe bay, 1000 holes, Lancashire, England in 1990. Every Day Like Sunday is Morrisseys 1st and in my opinion, best solo effort.
‘The Last of the Truly ‘Famous’ International Playboys’ was evidently having his very own personnel Armageddon come down from grandeur.., like many of us at that time in this fabulous song.  Personally my favourite of all Smiths/ Morrissey songs.
Whom was once front-man of the very northern England band The Smiths., And as it’s English heart/ Irish blood band members like the amazing Johnny Marr on lead guitar and Irish stout Guinness, only for those whom have acquired the taste. The original and, in my modest yet quite well informed opinion on this subject matter, the best of a very long standing list of the BBB (Best British Bands) extremely and very well respected by those that or are in the  know about such things, the best Manchester and English indie band of the 1980s. And, for now, ever.
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Ridley Scotts Blade Runner

Based on a novel entitled “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?” by Philip K. Dick, a favoured author of the English movie director Ridley Scott, who is the director of this 1982 sci-fi classic, the brilliant movie; Blade Runner.

Filmed in a futuristic cityscape studio set at Pinewood Studios in west London, England, with additional special effects and cut scenes added digitally later. The movie staring Harrison Ford of Han Solo Star Wars fame as Deckard .Who’s the Blade Runner of the movies title. Whose job it is to eliminate or “retire” illegal trespassing robots on planet Earth. When some time in the future, robots or, here in this movie called: ´Replicants’ on account of these humanoids only being allowed as off-world slave colonists…, If caught trespassing on mother Earth are punished with death by  Blade Runner cops like Deckard.’He say you  Blade Runner Mr. Deckard?’ Who is brought out of his own retirement by his old boss as his boss encounters a particular serious problem of which only Deckard can solve. Whose job it is to retire these illegal trespassing Replicants. Possible moral questions relating to cyborg-android-robot relationships with their original creators and models, man are raised in this thought provoking movie. Other philosophical and theological quasi-religious questions pertaining to the morality of immortality are raised in this as already stated, thought provoking science fiction movie classic Which is all about the future of life (but maybe not as we know it Jim!) on planet Earth Here set post-apocalyptic Los Angeles, America were given a glimpse at planet Earth’s inevitable future. Which  is likely to be dominated by complex computer based technologies culminating in the advanced stages of humanoid creation of men like robots capable of all human actions. Including calculative computations, man like imaginative cognitive behaviour, both memories and dreams, philosophical self awareness and ultimately their own Artificial Intelligent lead emotional responses.
God creates Man, we are told: in His own image. Man kills God. Then man creates Robots in his Image. With similar results seem towards the climax of this spectacular movie.
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A New Bob Hope

A Long Time Ago,
In a Galaxy Far Far Away..

Star Wars Episode One has to be in my modest yet rather knowledgeable opinion on this subject matter a classic addition to an extremely well known science fiction masterpiece or set of extremely well put together little dudes or movies of my early childhood to modern day child like continued adoration.

220px-star_wars_phantom_menace_poster

The Cast mostly in order of appearance of the late 1970’s: Star Wars (Episode IV): A New Hope:

C3PO (the very well spoken English speaking protocol droid whom it’s against it’s programming to impersonate a deity or God like genius). R2D2 (the real star of the show). Carrie Fisher as the indomitable and most beautiful tough woman’s liber heroin Princess Lea. Luke Skywalker, supposedly star of show. A swashbuckling, boyish lover boy with magical royal prince-like-charms. Loved by all, the perfect warrior prince and even rather insestually, by his sister (the congruent Oedipus theme throughout all the early Star wars movies). The kiss before completing the most famous scene from Star Wars: A New Hope – the swashbuckling swing scene with his beloved in his arms over a high predispose ravine to safety .., that kiss: ‘for luck’ has now been removed in the digital edited versions!!
So, Luke whom is obviously sexually aroused his twin sister, has to make do with wanking off with his Light-saber. Ha, ha ha!

Next we have and I quote his Dark Lordship:
“Your thoughts Betray you young Skywalker! You have a ‘SSisster??’ Maybe she will turn to the Darkside?”
Bringing us neatly to the multi acted (as 5 actors originally. But 6 or, 7 if you count the later episodes) contributed to His Darkness: Darth Vader. Luke’s father, Anikien Skywalker of Phantom Menace fame.
Darth Vader makes his dramatic entrance in ‘A New Hope’ before our hero and we are introduced to his menace, Lord Vader in the opening scenes on board the diplomatic vessel heading for Alderan. A peaceful planet soon to be mercilessly destroyed by the fully operational DEATH STAR (“..that’s not a moon.., that’s a SPACE-STATION!!”).
Two actors were used for Vader’s body: masked (The UK’s Kids TV star ‘The Green Cross Code Man’ or: Jolly-Green-Giant. And this English dude was a bloody giant! Nearly 7 foot tall! A (UK Kid’s TV star who my younger ‘SSsiter’ met at our local Talke – Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent North Staffordshire UK CO-OP supermarket in the late 70’s). One actor played Vader unmasked: the main actor for Lord Vader. Peak previews were given of Vader unmasked in the first two movies before finally getting to see him in all his darkness in episode VI: The Return of the Jedi (The best movie of all I reckon). One other actor/ vocalist was used for his computer sounding voice. And, yet another actor/ vocalist was used (5 in total for Darth alone in the original trilogy) on his raspy 150 Woodbine cigarettes-a-day breathing!!!

Then, we have Mr. Cool Dude: Han Solo (Harrison Ford’s first ever movie – althou’ not cast originally, was on set at Pinewood Studios in West London, England. Where the 1st movie was mostly filmed with an English film crew. Harrison Ford was on set as a set design Chippy/ Carpenter there. He got the part by de-fault divine-intervention-luck when the director spotted him mucking about back-stage as a real life smuggling-gangster bad-good-guy do-or-die type dude. Which was the beginnings of an extremely successful film star career lasting nearly fifty years present day. And, Chewbacca his side-kick / co-pilot (the walking fuzz ball carpet whom all depends if one closely observes the crucial turning points of the original trilogy).

Then, old Ben ( no! surely?! not old Ben?!) First performed by English Shakespearean legend Alec Guinness whom was perplexed by its strangely significant most memorable performance as he thought his endorsement and acclaim positively last performance a poultry effort as compared to his long list of master class masterpieces under David Leans directing in Dickensian and Shakespearean classics films as laughable in comparison to Lucas and Star Wars.

Ewan McGregor in this, The Phantom Menace movie fails miserably to emulate the master as Obi-1-the-Fogi (as my younger brothers Christened the old man).

For McGregor is Scottish and cannot pronounce English correctly or as well as a professionally trained Shakespearean English orator fight as a samurai based Jedi swordsman or act convincingly in a movie with the badly computer animation but fabulously funny Jah Jah Binks (also flawed and later quietly written out of all other episodes to follow).
The only other flaw, yet crucial and rather pathetic in an otherwise amazingly brilliant return of Lucas’s late 70’s mid 80’s cinematic delights…
Is, if Liam Nesiens brilliant performance as the totally believable immersive Quigon was such a Jedi master of the all seeing Magical power The Force, how then had he not presumed enough or too little and not recognized the hand maiden (played by the now world famous actress of much talent and beauty) a decoy and not Queen Amadela of the Nabu herself?!
A brilliant movie as the child actor and Star of Star Wars episode one The Phantom Menace is truly a fantastic choice as the boy whom it was written is the chosen one whom will bring balance to The Force.

DPK-UK